Farmville is her only friend.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
