I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
