I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
