Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
