my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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