Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
