But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
