he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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