How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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