Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
