..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
