What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
