No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
