it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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