So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
