My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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