yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
