you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize