my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
