Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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