It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize