All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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