If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
