what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
