Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
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I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?