Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour