My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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