I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
