I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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