He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
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my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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