as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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