I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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