Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
