Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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