Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
