Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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