If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
