Christians are straight up FREAKS
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
