Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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