Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
