I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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