Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
