you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
