Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
