The maid of honor just puked.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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