C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
