Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
two words...techno handjob
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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