i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
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i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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