Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
