K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
