i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
