I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
