this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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