i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
