She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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