i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
try to milk me bitch
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