She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
