Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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