shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
