I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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