needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
