It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
